You can spend every moment of everyday
Worrying your life away.
Wanting something you can’t have
Living in a kingdom of lack.
-Bereft, deficient, inadequate…
Interlaced in the asseveration of your lover
Like Soft cobwebs caught on fingertips.
Deception like black roses.
The intention is to be a thing of beauty
But in actuality they mean death.
A bouquet symbolizing the end of this
How serene the time was,
that’s no longer significant
What was the significance?
Never before have I’ve ever licked amour so delicate.
Never again will my heart let me be so intimate.
How could this be what my soul remembers?
If I was abandoned
Left to decay in the shade until the words faded,
Like the “sorries” you buried me with?
Branded on my rock,
As if they said ” in remembrance.”
My body isn’t anybody,
Honey is now irrelevant.
Decades will go by
And I will look like my sister.
But I wouldn’t have lived like my sister.
Hide the fucking flowers
They drip poison.
Your flower is dead
And you don’t even know that you miss her.
She said yes.
She looked you earnestly into your eyes
She gave into the pressure that was applied.
She struggled at first,
Like a virgin, she broke way
Feeling less and less of the pain of the breaking.
Against all odds
She chose to love you.
Even though it was not what was best for her.
She did it in spite of herself.
But that feeling,
It wasn’t what you thought it would be.
It was not attraction or coercion.
No money, no dick, no charm is as good as its perceived.
Not good enough for that woman to concede.
A blanket holds you next to that woman’s heart.
That proximity makes each individual piece that sets her free
seem smaller to her.
She will begin to become more familiar with your senses.
Anticipating the needs of her man
Slowly and intentionally loosing herself.
But she loves fiercely and accepts the Premeditation.
Not because you talk to her good
Or because you fuck her good
(That is important tho…)
You support her, you protect her, & you cherish her
She said yes,
not because you were better the any other man in her past.
But since you have appeared,
She is too blinded to even compare.
She barely remembers what she had there.
So when you held her face and asked her about her love
In her mind she asked herself
” Are you ready to fly and drown at the same time?”
There was no hesitation…
I wonder what it feels like to be you,
To experience the level of pain that have had to endure.
To live the life that you lived.
To have the daughters that you did.
To see the mistakes that we have made,
Despite any warnings that you had tried to give.
To watch us throw away our favor,
For the love of love and sex.
To watch a man take over our bodies.
An urban exorcism.
We are phantoms of
The little girls that you birthed.
What does it do to your heart
When you hear how we valued ourselves
Based on the appeal
Of what is between our legs?
How did your heart survive
To see us weighted down?
Carrying the seeds of someone
Who would never consider us as family?
How did you soul recover
Watching someone that you created out of nothing,
Return to the dust from whence we all came?
How can your faith remain unbothered,
As you watched the child who remained
Destroy herself through grief’s good friends?
Sometimes I wonder
What it is like to be you.
So that I could truly understand what I have
Before I don’t have it anymore.
Before your answers to my questions
Are just figments of the past.
Before I am mature enough to realize
That my future is your past.
That my mistakes are your mirrored past.
That I hurt you, by living my life.
That I hurt you by being the same.
That you are fearful
That my destiny will be unchanged.
Buried in a hole
But still alive
My own daughters wondering
How is it that i have survived.
I don’t want us to be this way.
That wine tho…
Feels as if as it goes down my throat
Right to the center
Of that pit
That every woman has
That small seed
Right beneath her belly button
When it comes alive
That one place
That tells her your intentions
Mean you love her
But if you lick…
That flick drives us wild inside
That wine tho…
Goes straight to that center
And stirs up erotic intoxication
And moral asphyxiation
Warm honey everywhere
For your appropriation
We drink each other’s eyes
As you go down
Follow the path of the lines
Of my hips
The bottle of your colleague in the background
We look like a painting
But it feels like a carousel
I’m getting dizzy
From you two
That wine tho…
Becomes my polar opposite
As it goes down
I build up
But like that wine tho…
I’m good to the last drop
All of the energy
That I store inside,
Springs forth from my imagination,
Hitching a ride with my tears,
Swirls around my lips first,
Leaps into your mind when I kiss you.
It becomes a manifestation
Of those original thoughts
When I miss you.
Temptation makes it worse.
It becomes too hard to let go.
And I’ll want to please you.
Catching my vibe,
You roll when I roll.
Diligently eager, I seize you.
The foretaste of New frontiers
Has me hype.
Your next climax
Is in my sight.
When we make love
We create life.
New people designed
With you and I
I want to be able to walk with my head held high.
I want to be able to sleep at night.
I want to be loved.
I want to feel loved.
But first, I must be love
And give love.
One cannot be so abrasive and negative,
If you want softness and positivity.
Don’t think that a man is going to feed off of your memories.
He is not going to remember
That how your mind works is amazing,
Or that your peach is sweeter then any others.
He won’t remember that you could soothe him
Away from his childhood
And away from his mother.
Their love is short term.
But yours was meant to be everlasting.
You birth the future,
Because your passion is surpassing.
And everything about you is beautiful,
And the woman next to you is beautiful,
And instead of competing,
Be soft and free together.
Sometimes we were flats.
Sometimes we wear heels.
It just depends on our weather.
The mystery of our magic will endure
As long as we weather this together.