Survive

Porsha Truesdale in “waiting & wanting” photographed by H. Reigns

Momma,

Sometimes,

I wonder what it feels like to be you,

To experience the level of pain that have had to endure.

To live the life that you lived.

To have the daughters that you did.

To see the mistakes that we have made,

Despite any warnings that you had tried to give.

To watch us throw away our favor,

For the love of love and sex.

To watch a man take over our bodies.

An urban exorcism.

We are phantoms of 

The little girls that you birthed.

Tell me,

What does it do to your heart

When you hear how we valued ourselves

Based on the appeal

Of what is between our legs?

How did your heart survive

To see us weighted down?

Carrying the seeds of someone

Who would never consider us as family?

How did you soul recover

Watching someone that you created out of nothing,

Return to the dust from whence we all came?

How can your faith remain unbothered,

As you watched the child who remained

Destroy herself through grief’s good friends?

Sometimes I wonder

What it is like to be you.

So that I could truly understand what I have

Before I don’t have it anymore.

Before your answers to my questions

Are just figments of the past.

Before I am mature enough to realize

That my future is your past.

That my mistakes are your mirrored past.

That I hurt you, by living my life.

That I hurt you by being the same.

That you are fearful 

That my destiny will be unchanged.

Buried in a hole

But still alive

My own daughters wondering

How is it that i have survived.

Momma,

I don’t want us to be this way.

Gypsy

“Phase 1” photographed by h. Reigns

Am I rough around the edges?

Am I damaged?

Am I unable to be comprehended,

because I like to be ravaged?

Is it the Cherokee in my blood,or my flow

what makes me a savage?

Do you know that the opposite of freedom

isn’t bondage?

Its acceptance…

Am I thirsty because I want to drink a full fountain?

Am I too loud,

If my commands have been known to move a mountain?

Am I a gypsy because I love the flames of fire?

Its flicks and wisps seems to dance with my desire?

Is it wrong that my moans drown out the thunder?

Are they jealous that my eyes are full of wonder?

Who am I?

Maybe the Baptists preacher’s daughter?

A misunderstood doctor who heals the African diaspora?

I was and always will be my sister’s keeper.

Even though the life I living 

won’t let me speak to her.

I’m tired of running friend,

could we pause the century and own it?

And pay in rubies to kiss

& stop time in this moment.

Honey Reigns

“golden” photographed by h. Reigns

 
In this universe, so broad

It’s hard sometimes

To see yourself for who you really are

You must remove the lenses of your eyes

And see through the spectacular spectacles

of someone who loves you

Someone who adores you

Someone ensnared by your crazy

Your strangeness brought on by adversity

I was hiding in this dark space

trying not to be seen

But you saw me anyway

Not yet a beautiful black butterfly

Because I had torn off my wings

So that I wouldn’t fly so far ahead

Of people I wanted to be like

People I want to be by

But I guess that’s not me

I walked ahead of the vacant pathway

That was covered by the sea

And journeyed to the top of the hill

Where I can be free

Who am I

I am a dripping queen

A passionate persona

That is filled with sweet, pure, raw honey

Manufactured

by the worker bees of my life-adventures

Collected from both flowers and weeds alike

Tinted in the comb of my heart

Equally from joy and strife

I am filled to the brim with flow

Whether it sings from above

Or seeps below

I am a peach and a prize

My honey flows so nice

And She rains for you

She rains continuously so

Because she seeks to know God

Through the world he has created

Even though she was not always given freely

She accepts the release and moves on

As she is incapable of being depleted

She will rain now and forevermore

As she is incapable of being defeated

My honey reigns supreme

This is just the beginning

And your love is what was needed…

Have a seat baby

watch your honey flow..

Let the wisps of a smile

play across your lips

Watch your honey reign.