Black Roses

“Black Rose” photographed by H. Reigns


You can spend every moment of everyday

Worrying your life away.

Wanting something you can’t have

Living in a kingdom of lack.

Being,

 -Bereft, deficient, inadequate…

Interlaced in the asseveration of your lover 

Like Soft cobwebs caught on fingertips. 

Deception like black roses.

The intention is to be a thing of beauty

But in actuality they mean death. 

A bouquet symbolizing the end of this

How serene the time was, 

that’s no longer significant 

What was the significance?

Never before have I’ve ever licked amour so delicate. 

Never again will my heart let me be so intimate. 

How could this be what my soul remembers?

If I was abandoned

Left to decay in the shade until the words faded,

Like the “sorries” you buried me with?

Branded on my rock, 

As if they said ” in remembrance.”

My body isn’t anybody,

Honey is now irrelevant. 

Decades will go by

And I will look like my sister.

But I wouldn’t have lived like my sister.

Hide the fucking flowers

They drip poison. 

Your flower is dead

And you don’t even know that you miss her.

Survive

Porsha Truesdale in “waiting & wanting” photographed by H. Reigns

Momma,

Sometimes,

I wonder what it feels like to be you,

To experience the level of pain that have had to endure.

To live the life that you lived.

To have the daughters that you did.

To see the mistakes that we have made,

Despite any warnings that you had tried to give.

To watch us throw away our favor,

For the love of love and sex.

To watch a man take over our bodies.

An urban exorcism.

We are phantoms of 

The little girls that you birthed.

Tell me,

What does it do to your heart

When you hear how we valued ourselves

Based on the appeal

Of what is between our legs?

How did your heart survive

To see us weighted down?

Carrying the seeds of someone

Who would never consider us as family?

How did you soul recover

Watching someone that you created out of nothing,

Return to the dust from whence we all came?

How can your faith remain unbothered,

As you watched the child who remained

Destroy herself through grief’s good friends?

Sometimes I wonder

What it is like to be you.

So that I could truly understand what I have

Before I don’t have it anymore.

Before your answers to my questions

Are just figments of the past.

Before I am mature enough to realize

That my future is your past.

That my mistakes are your mirrored past.

That I hurt you, by living my life.

That I hurt you by being the same.

That you are fearful 

That my destiny will be unchanged.

Buried in a hole

But still alive

My own daughters wondering

How is it that i have survived.

Momma,

I don’t want us to be this way.

Anymore 2

Lequinn Newby in “pain” photographed by h. Reigns


Neglectful, allusive,pensive…

Thoughtful of decisions that affect 

Yourself primarily.

When you chose to leave

It was for the best momentarily.

Love lost, lost all meaning 

You have no regard for me.

There’s no love left for me anymore.

It’s not sequestered.

Like water vapor,

it just evaporated.

Was there any ever really there?

Or was it just an illusion 

Of broken glass on the floor.

Shattered pieces of the obscure woman 

I once was.

The smoky cloud 

Of “us”

Looms in this place.

I reminisce fervidly

Of placing 10,000 kisses

dispersed along your face.

Lies.

All of them daggers,

That broke through your disguise.

Forget the incense,

Burn the sage.

Get the residue out that remains.

We weren’t on the same page.

I was a friend,

Who became a lover,

To a man,

A manipulative fiend.

What an exalted performance you did give,

Pretending to be my king.

More then enough 

to coerce this kid

Into making love to you.

My body fit like a glove to you.

All the power that pussy contains,

Could not make you care for me veraciously.

All that talk about viscosity

Was just to lower my wall.

Shit…

Now here it comes,

The pain.

When you already saw,

How it felt to me

When it all fell down,

In here comes the rain.

That poetry that you said

Made you fall in love again.

I must be such a simple little thing.

Too naive to have left first.

So I kept watching you leave me

Again and again.

Get a conscious  girl.

Let this be the end of this refrain.

I don’t want to do this anymore…